My Desire Map Story

I’m a consultant, coach and trainer, mostly for nonprofit organizations and the people who work with and for them. That’s what I’ve done for the last 20 years and I love it. You can read about that in my bio.

Here, I want to tell you about how Desire Map came into my life and has become important to me.


My journey to Desire Map was pretty much about rules.

What’s in a name? Everything.

I’m Virginia. Those who met me though work, where I used my “proper” name, did and do call me that (as does my husband, just because he likes it).  My immediate family and childhood friends always called me Ginny and that’s the name I used onstage, when theatre was a regular thing in my life, and socially too. So I’m definitely Ginny as well.

Now, that two name stuff is easy work for a raging Gemini and I answer to both, but I employed it rigidly. In fact, rigid is a good way to describe the stressful way I was managing my life. Compartments, cubbyholes and labels – overcompensating for an easygoing nature that I was somehow convinced made me “unprofessional”. Well.  All work and no play makes Virginia a pain in the patooty (read ass).

Couple of years ago I attended a weekend Tarot workshop where every reading, every meditation, every intuition, said PLAY. Lighten up. Get a life that’s authentic and that you have fun living.

There are lots of stories and aha moments about that workshop weekend, but what matters here is that it led directly to a women’s workshop I led with my dear friend Jessica. One of the attendees, new to me then but now also a dear friend named Sara, was writing in her journal and I commented on its beauty.  She said, “Do you know Danielle LaPorte?” I didn’t, and she began to tell me about Core Desired Feelings, about Truthbombs, about Firestarter. And resonance happened –a little thrill of “yes!”

So this new path showed itself. I dove into Danelle’s website, subscribed to her blog and Truthbombs, which began to show up on my Facebook timeline with increasing frequency and to appear printed out on my office wall. “You gotta let go”, “Deny your fear”, “Lack of passion is fatal”, “Imagine multiple pleasurable outcomes”, “be wildly, obsessively, precisely grateful”, and of course “Love rewards the brave”.

Enter another friend into the process. This Lovely, a bestie halfway across the country, had some surgery and a weeks- long, first painful then boring, recovery period ahead. We decided to do the Firestarter Sessions together by phone and we both experienced it as…. profound. It added new dimension to conversations we’d been having for a long time – more resonance.  This feels good.

One brilliant thing about Danielle’s work is that it’s all so familiar. This is stuff we already know in our bones and she’s articulated it so we can take it out and turn it over, look at it, touch it, say it, own it. You KNOW that when you feel good about how you’re living, what you’re doing, who you see, what you’re bringing to the world….you KNOW that you’re better and have more to offer. You can give, take, work, play, learn, teach, love – truthfully, with compassion and joy. Heady stuff that, and in the end it’s practical, sans woowoo,  not “out there” at all. What do you want to deliver? How do you want to feel? 

So. The Desire Map. Bought the book and worked it alone. A set of Core Desired Feelings – almost but not quite ready to snuggle down into those.  Then Eureka….there’s a licensing program!  Began to realize that this could be what connects all the other pieces of the puzzle for me, for my tribe, for my clients.

Nonprofit folk sure can use this. Many of us deal with horrific things every day and lose ourselves in our missions and the day to day grind of the work. Many of us forget that taking care of ourselves will make us better at caring for others: people, animals, walking trails, schools, care facilities, oceans and tundra.
Talked with several friends who all responded with variations on “go for it”, “this is right up your ally”, “what are you waiting for?”, and one observed “seems like lots of this could amp up your classes and coaching”.  Yeah, that’s a plan. Finally Jessica (remember her?) said, “So you’ve been talking about this for months now. Are you gonna do it or what?”…expletives deleted . We need those friends.

So I did. Took a deep breath and waded in. Became a Desire Map Facilitator and started to work my way through the knowledge base. Did the workbook again with a recorded workshop leader. Then again alone, playing my own facilitator. I’ve gotten to my own CDFs – Bountiful, Radiant, Authentic, Magic.  I’ve examined and reexamined the potential of each one as it takes root and then blooms. They’re right for me, right now, and I keep them top of mind–first tool out of the box to build the day. The result? Calmer, happier, more focus, less stress, no compartments –feeding, not draining; and WAY more to give. What you see is what you get. I LOVE working with Desire Map.  Now to pay it forward…. here are some kind words from one of my first Desire Map clients.
Ginny Lang